Friday, June 13, 2008

What Happened?!?!?!?!?

LOS ANGELES, June 12, 2008 -- Once upon a Thursday night, somewhere on the East Coast, there lived a hypothetical transplanted Lakers fan who was exhausted from a long day of work and felt safe going to sleep at 9:31 p.m. ET with his team up 21 points at the end of the first quarter.

Who could blame him? After all, L.A. was running a clinic. The Lakers shot 11-for-17 in the quarter and picked up 10 assists on those 10 baskets en route to an all-time Finals record 21-point advantage after the first 12 minutes.

It wasn’t quite Kobe Bryant 62, Dallas Mavericks 61 after three quarters, but Lamar Odom 13, Boston Celtics 12 after the first 10 minutes of Game 4 set the tone for L.A. to even The Finals 2-2 in a romp, he probably thought.

Sure Kobe hadn’t scored a field goal yet, but he was in facilitator mode with four assists and three steals. This one was in the bag. “Why not catch a few extra winks?” he probably rationalized.

Somewhere on the East Coast on Friday morning, that same hypothetical transplanted Lakers fan will wake up feeling well rested and fire up his computer, eagerly anticipating reading about Game 4. He might even play U2’s “It’s A Beautiful Day” as he waits for page to load. And then he’ll stare blankly at the monitor when he sees Celtics 97, Lakers 91.

It will seem wrong to him on a ”DEWEY DEFEATS TRUMAN” level.

“That can’t be right,” he’ll dismiss.

He’ll flip on the TV to make sure it corroborates. Maybe his PC was having a cache issue. “Damn it, I knew I should have gotten a Mac,” he’ll think.

But he’ll find the same score on NBA TV. Rick Kamla will tell him that Eddie House hit a go-ahead jumper with 4:07 left in the fourth quarter to give Boston a lead that they never relinquished the rest of the way.

He’ll look puzzled.

“Eddie House? Am I still dreaming?” he’ll question.

The newspaper will be at his front door. He’ll rifle to the sports page. He’ll read again, “Celtics 97, Lakers 91 – Boston leads the best of seven series 3-1.”

Then a second dash to the computer, followed by some channel surfing to a few other sports stations … then the shuffle on his iTunes cues up the Psychotheme song.

Reek! Reek! Reek! Reek! Reek!

Wait, what happened?!?!?!?!?I’ll tell our imaginary friend what happened: The Lakers offense transformed from a smooth sailing Ferrari to a herky jerky jalopy.

The Celtics outscored the Lakers by three in the second, 16 in the third and eight in the fourth. Odom’s 13 and five rebounds after one only swelled to 19 and 10 by the end of the game. After only taking two shots in the first quarter, Kobe took 17 the rest of the way and only made six, finishing with 17 points and 10 assists.

But, how did it happen?!?!?!?!?

“We got away from the things that we were doing well in the first half,” Pau Gasol said after his 17-point, 10-rebound outing.

“We started settling, and then they started making shots,” Gasol added. “They started taking advantage of those long shots and those turnovers we had in the third quarter, and then it put a lot of pressure on us.”

Settling never sounds good. Why settle all of the sudden?

Phil Jackson said the C’s made defensive adjustments, “[Boston] reacted to passing situations [and] destroyed passing lanes.”

Oh, so it was the Celtics’ defense, not the Lakers’ fault. Boston was the No. 1 defensive team in the league. That makes sense.

But, what were the adjustments?

Paul Pierce (20 points, seven assists) volunteered to guard Kobe at halftime.

OK, Kobe was already in facilitator mode with six assists against just four field goal attempts in the first half. What could Pierce guarding him do?

“Well, this team is -- if you watch them, if you've paid attention to them all year, usually the first half is team ball, second half is usually Kobe takes over the games,” Kevin Garnett said. “It just looks like they wanted to get the ball to Kobe and him sort of finish it off. That's what it looked like to me. It didn't really look cohesive like they did in the first half.”

Hmm.

“One of the things I was concerned about was that Kobe hadn't scored a field goal in the first half, and that puts some then they knew, hey, he's going to come out and try to get some scores so we're going to have to commit as a team,” Jackson said.

So Garnett and the Celtics knew Kobe was going to shoot more and Jackson and the Lakers knew Kobe was going to shoot more …

And what happened next? Kobe shot more.

“I think we got stagnant offensively on how we wanted to attack them,” Lakers captain Derek Fisher (13 points) said. “I think we did too much through Kobe’s hands in terms of screen and rolls and they were able to really load their defense up.

“What allowed us to build the lead was ball movement and I think we got very one-sided in terms of doing a lot of stuff off the dribble as opposed to really passing that ball,” Fisher added.

Bryant started the second half by making his first two shots. The Lakers were up by 18 with 8:36 left in the third. A 2-2 series was inevitable.

But Bryant finished the quarter by going 0-for-5 (including getting blocked on a jump shot by Pierce), the rest of the Lakers finished the quarter by going 1-for-8 and by the time Bryant next made a field goal it was to break a tied ballgame with 9:32 left in the fourth.

Boston battled to take the lead on the aforementioned House jumper and kept it thanks to key buckets by James Posey, Garnett, Pierce and Ray Allen down the stretch.

Of all the people in the game, Kobe can surely explain to the hypothetical Lakers fan what happened.

“I think they did a good job forcing us to take difficult shots,” Bryant said.

Gotcha. It was their defense.

“We did a much better job in the first half getting back on defense,” Bryant continued. “We've got to do a better job of cutting back on those easy opportunities and not putting them to the free throw line and giving them timely three point opportunities.”

Wait, it was the Lakers' defense?

“I think it's a combination of both, always,” Bryant said. “It's a combination of their defense, a combination of our poor execution.”

Sorry, I can’t help you understand it any better, hypothetical transplanted Lakers fan.

Had you stayed up and saw the second half with your own eyes, it wouldn’t have made any more sense to you anyway.

I know it didn’t for me, and I was awake for it.

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

iPhone News!!!

Softbank and Apple to Bring iPhone 3G to Japan on July 11

TOKYO and SAN FRANCISCO—June 9, 2008—Softbank (SBM) and Apple® today announced that the highly anticipated iPhone™ 3G will be available in Japan on July 11. iPhone 3G combines all the revolutionary features of iPhone with 3G networking that is twice as fast* as the first generation iPhone, built-in GPS for expanded location based mobile services, and iPhone 2.0 software which includes support for Microsoft Exchange ActiveSync and runs the hundreds of third party applications already built with the recently released iPhone SDK.

“I am delighted at this opportunity to partner with Apple,” said Masayoshi Son, SBM chairman and CEO. “SBM’s and Apple’s shared vision of promoting the innovative integration of the Internet and mobile phone through the distribution of iPhone is exciting. iPhone has been enthusiastically received around the world, and we think it will be popular in Japan as well.”

“Japan is one of the world’s most advanced mobile markets and we are thrilled to partner with SoftBank to launch iPhone 3G there next month, “ said Tim Cook, Apple’s COO. “iPhone 3G is an amazing product and we think customers in Japan will love it as much as we do.”

*Based on 3G and EDGE testing. Actual speeds vary by site conditions.

The Softbank Group has upheld its corporate policy, “Endeavoring to benefit society and the economy and maximize enterprise value by fostering the sharing of wisdom and knowledge gained through the IT revolution” since the foundation in 1981. Subsequently it was successful in the publishing business and the distribution of packaged software for PCs. In 2001, the Group entered into the broadband business, “Yahoo! BB”, very early and brought dramatic innovation to the Internet environment in Japan, encouraged by overwhelming support from customers. The Group entered into the fixed-line telecommunications business in 2004 and into the mobile communications business as SBM in 2006. Through innovative pricing and attractive product strategies it achieved the No. 1 position in net additions for FY 2007 in the Japanese market (number of subscribers 18,952,800 as of end of May 2008).

As a corporate group based on Internet-related businesses, the Group will not limit itself to its existing role of telecommunications carrier. Rather, by providing both information infrastructure and content as a comprehensive digital information company, the Group aims to make people’s lifestyles and business styles more affluent and enjoyable, and to be the global No. 1 corporate group in the broadband era.

Apple ignited the personal computer revolution in the 1970s with the Apple II and reinvented the personal computer in the 1980s with the Macintosh. Today, Apple continues to lead the industry in innovation with its award-winning computers, OS X operating system and iLife and professional applications. Apple is also spearheading the digital media revolution with its iPod portable music and video players and iTunes online store, and has entered the mobile phone market with its revolutionary iPhone.

Globe Telecom and Apple Bring iPhone 3G to Philippines

MANILA and SAN FRANCISCO—June 9, 2008—Globe Telecom and Apple® today announced that they will be bringing the highly anticipated iPhone™ 3G to the Philippines later this year. iPhone 3G combines all the revolutionary features of iPhone with 3G networking that is twice as fast* as the first generation iPhone, built-in GPS for expanded location based mobile services, and iPhone 2.0 software which includes support for Microsoft Exchange ActiveSync and runs the hundreds of third party applications already built with the recently released iPhone SDK.

“We are very excited to be working with Apple to bring Filipino consumers iPhone 3G later this year,” said Gerardo C. Ablaza, Jr. president and CEO of Globe Telecom. “Our customers are our greatest passion and we’re constantly striving to offer them the most innovative products such as the revolutionary iPhone 3G.”

“We are thrilled to bring iPhone 3G to millions of mobile customers in the Philippines,” said Tim Cook, Apple’s COO. “We can’t wait to get this revolutionary mobile device in the hands of even more people around the world.”

iPhone 3G will be available to Globe’s postpaid and prepaid subscribers in the Philippines later this year.

*Based on 3G and EDGE testing. Actual speeds vary by site conditions.

Globe Telecom is a leading telecommunications company in the Philippines with more than 21 million mobile subscribers. As a pioneer, Globe Telecom continues to be a part of the revolution that’s connecting millions of people across the Philippines and around the world. Beyond technology, Globe Telecom’s business is truly shaped by the bonds that tie Filipinos together. Communications is ultimately about relationships, and this drives the company to innovate and constantly find easy and relevant ways to enrich people’s lives.

Apple ignited the personal computer revolution in the 1970s with the Apple II and reinvented the personal computer in the 1980s with the Macintosh. Today, Apple continues to lead the industry in innovation with its award-winning computers, OS X operating system and iLife and professional applications. Apple is also spearheading the digital media revolution with its iPod portable music and video players and iTunes online store, and has entered the mobile phone market with its revolutionary iPhone.

Cross My Heart

Now and then 

Do you wash your hands of me again 

Wish me anywhere but home 

Drunk and on the end of your phone 

 

From time to time 

Do you guess whats really on my mind 

Guess that How youre keeping now 

Means Where are you sleeping now 

 

CHORUS 1 

But, of course, its not polite to ask you where you spent last night 

And if I did, you might reply that I have no right 

And anyway, Im fine, glad that youre no longer mine 

If I should tell a lie, cross my heart and hope to die 

 

Youd be appalled 

If you knew what I was doing when you called 

Yes, I can see Im blundering 

And I always end up wondering 

 

CHORUS 2 

Will it ever be all right to ask you where you spent last night?

And can it be polite the way we never write 

Cause I dont have the time and anyway, Im fine 

If I should tell a lie, cross my heart and hope to die 

 

AD LIB 

 

Ooh yeah 

 

[Repeat CHORUS 1] 

 

I hope we never die [3x], yeah 

Cross my heart [8x till fade] 



HOW TO WRITE GOOD

Here's a little joke for y'all

HOW TO WRITE GOOD

My several years in the word game have learnt me several rules:

1. Avoid alliteration. Always.

2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.

3. Avoid cliches like the plague. (They're old hat.)

4. Employ the vernacular.

5. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.

6. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.

7. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.

8. Contractions aren't necessary

9. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.

10. One should never generalize.

11. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson once said:
   "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know."

12. Comparisons are as bad as cliches.

13. Don't be redundant; don't use more words than necessary; it's highly superfluous.

14. Profanity sucks.

15. Be more or less specific.

16. Understatement is always best.

17. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.

18. One-word sentences? Eliminate.

19. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.

20. The passive voice is to be avoided.

21. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.

22. Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.

23. Who needs rhetorical questions?



Thursday, June 05, 2008

Lakers-Celtics: a lot of love and a lot more hate

If, as Jerry West says, the NBA's greatest rivalry wasn't a rivalry at first since the Lakers never won in the '60s and the Boston Celtics never lost, it already seemed bigger than mere life or death, at least in West's life.

Nor did the zeal diminish in their '80s rematches when the Showtime Lakers and the Larry Bird Celtics battled on even terms.

 
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It was the alpha and omega of rivalries, encompassing all human emotions, starting, of course, with hate.

The Lakers hated the Celtics and their blustering leader, Red Auerbach, but then who didn't?

No one hated Auerbach more than Lakers Coach Pat Riley, whose movie star looks masked his knife-between-the-teeth drive. Riley believed every horror story about Red, once ordering his team's water barrel emptied in Boston Garden.

LAKERS-CELTICS NBA FINALS THROUGH THE YEARS
1984198519871960s
Riley wanted his players to hate everything about the Celtics, gathering his players to ask if they knew what a Celtic was.

"Finally, Kareem raised his hand," Riley wrote. "He said the Celtics were a warring race of Danes.

"I had to explain that they were also a cunning, secretive race."

Of course, Riley was Irish but he was a Laker first.

Not that you had to be paranoid since the teams were messing with each other.

Fans besieged the Lakers' hotel in Boston with phone calls, waking up sleeping players -- which Riley blamed on the Celtics for giving out their location. Lakers officials were delegated to wake up Boston players in their hotel here.

Happily, the fear and loathing ran second to respect that grew into reverence among the participants, or at least some of them.

After the Celtics' Game 7 victory in 1969, John Havlicek hugged West, who played for the Lakers with a sore hamstring wrapped like the leg of a mummy, telling him, "I love you."

Bill Russell flew out for West's farewell ceremony, announcing, "If I could have one wish in life granted, it would be that you would always be happy."

By the '80s, the two teams needed each other as they needed air and water.

Bird and Magic Johnson lived to beat the other from the start when they were bitter rivals to the finish when they were close friends.

When Bird retired, Johnson flew East and donned a Celtics jersey for his retirement ceremony, whereupon Bird told him, "Magic, get out of my dreams!"

Bird presented Johnson at his Hall of Fame induction, noting, "I was going to speak from my heart but, man, he broke my heart so many times, do I have anything left?"

Sentiment ended at the tipoff. After the Celtics' Game 4 win in the Forum in the 1984 Finals, Bird, on the bus, saw Johnson slouch past, looking devastated. Said Bird later: "I thought, 'Suffer.' "

One time or another, they all did.

1959: Celtics 4, Minneapolis Lakers 0

Rookie of the year Elgin Baylor leads the remnants of the old dynasty in scoring, rebounds and assists but the Lakers are overmatched.

1962: Celtics 4, Los Angeles Lakers 3

The relocated young Lakers jolt the Celtics, winning Game 5 in Boston to go up, 3-2, as Baylor scores 61 points, still the Finals record.

The Celtics force a Game 7 in Boston Garden and win, 110-107, in overtime.

With the game tied and time running out in regulation, the Lakers' Frank Selvy, a two-time All-Star, misses a wide-open eight-foot baseline jumper.

Says West: "I've always wondered if Frank Selvy had made that shot -- and he'd made a couple of big shots right before that -- would that have helped change the course of history of this thing?"

Couldn't have hurt.

1963: Celtics 4, Lakers 2

With Bob Cousy in his last season, Sports Illustrated says of the Celtics, "Tired blood courses through their varicose veins." That must be where the SI jinx starts with the Celtics about to romp in the Finals and go on to win in 1964, 1965, 1966, 1968 and 1969.

"Please," Auerbach says, "tell me some of these stories about Los Angeles being the basketball capital of the world."

1965: Celtics 4, Lakers 1

The Celtics win 62 games to the Lakers' 49. That's how close the Finals are.

1966: Celtics 4, Lakers 3

The West is now a sideshow. The new marquee matchup is between Wilt Chamberlain's Philadelphia 76ers and the Celtics, who finish No. 2 in the East.

Nothing can match the resolve of the old Celtics when they're cornered. In what will become a pattern, they win when it counts, upending the 76ers, 4-1, in the playoffs.

The Lakers come back from a 3-1 deficit to force another Game 7 in Boston Garden but the Celtics win, 95-93, for Auerbach's ninth and last title.

Of course, if Red knew Phil Jackson would one day get nine, too, he might have kept coaching.

1968: Celtics 4, Lakers 2

Dethroned in 1967, the Celtics see the defending champion 76ers win the East for the third season in a row and take a 3-1 lead in their playoff series.

The Celtics then stage their most improbable comeback yet, winning 4-3.

The Lakers have been rooting for Boston, fearing the awesome 76ers, only to find they can't beat the sly old foxes, either.

If the entire league is flummoxed, the Lakers, who won't win their first title until 1972 -- over the New York Knicks -- are really getting a complex.

"People ask what it was like to finally win," says West. "I didn't know.

"I was so used to being on the other team where regardless of how you played or how your team played, it was almost like fate wasn't going to let you win."

1969: Celtics 4, Lakers 3

This is the Lakers' year -- they think -- as they acquire Chamberlain to go with Baylor and West in the, quote, greatest collection of stars the game has ever seen, unquote.

Unfortunately, they're all in their 30s and don't fit. Wilt and Lakers Coach Butch van Breda Kolff have so many exchanges in the media, The Times becomes known as "Butch's paper" and the Los Angeles Examiner as "Wilt's paper."

The Celtics are really old now, falling to No. 4 in the East but arising yet again.

It comes down to another Game 7 but this one is in the Forum where owner Jack Kent Cooke has balloons penned up for the victory celebration.

With 5:45 left and Boston up, 103-94, Chamberlain, the iron man, hurts his knee and goes out. With the lead down to 103-101, Wilt asks to go back in but van Breda Kolff turns him down.

Boston wins, 108-106.

1984: Celtics 4, Lakers 3

There really is a Celtics Hex, a new generation of Lakers learn.

Fifteen years later, five years after Johnson and Bird's duel in the 1979 NCAA Finals, the highest-rated basketball game of all time, they all meet again.

The Lakers lead in the last minute of Games 1-4 but the Celtics steal Games 2 and 4, starting with Gerald Henderson's Game 2 interception of James Worthy's pass.

Says West, noting the Lakers' subsequent victories in 1985 and 1987, "And frankly if someone had called timeout, they might have won a third time."

McHale clotheslines Kurt Rambis in Game 4. The Celtics have never been thugs but they've never been this desperate. "We had to do what we could because we couldn't keep up with them," says Bird. "They were running us out of the building."

The Celtics go up, 3-2, in Game 5 as the Lakers wilt in Boston Garden, which turns into a sauna on a hot Friday night.

By now the Lakers are wondering if Auerbach can control the weather as easily as turning off their hot water.

It comes down to another Game 7, the fourth between these two teams. It's a balmy 91 degrees in Boston Garden as the Celtics win again.

1985: Lakers 4, Celtics 2

Lakers history turns completely around in four days, starting when the Celtics bury them, 148-114, in the "Memorial Day Massacre" in Boston Garden.

Riley, written off as the lucky guy who inherited his job, scorches his players in a film session, starting with Abdul-Jabbar, whom he has always tread softly around but who has just been embarrassed by Robert Parish in Game 1.

After two days of Riley's cold fury in practices, the Lakers win Game 2 as Abdul-Jabbar gets 30 points and 17 rebounds.

The Lakers close it out in Boston Garden, the franchise's Hell throughout its history. Game 6 is so decisive, even Boston fans applaud politely.

1987: Lakers 4, Celtics 2

Old Celtics do fall, just not easily.

The 65-17 Lakers glide to the Finals. The 59-23 Celtics are hobbled after seven games against Detroit's young Bad Boys in a classic that turns on Bird's steal of Isiah Thomas' inbounds pass.

The Lakers batter the Celtics in Games 1 and 2, 126-113 and 141-122.

In Boston Garden, the Celtics take Game 3 but Johnson's "junior, junior sky hook" wins Game 4.

In the last exchange of shots in this great duel, Johnson's shot drops with two seconds left.

The Celtics call time and inbound the ball to Bird, whose three-pointer is dead on but bounces off the back of the rim.

"In '85, they were good," says Bird after the series. "In '84 I really thought they should have beaten us. I don't know if this team's better than they were but I guess they are."

It's all over, at least for 21 years.